Hi Honey, I'm Home!

This is first time in ages that I felt like writing anything. I feel bad for not updating my blog in so long but I just haven't felt like it.

I have been in a strange place recently, kind of an emotional no mans' land. I have been fed up with work, fed up with myself and my relationship with Mr B. I'm not sure what I want anymore. I have felt like a bored, desperate housewife. The trouble is, I can't really do anything about it because either I'm not really sure what it is that I want.

My weight loss has come grinding to a halt lately. I am just not in the right frame of mind to deprive myself of chocolate or even cut back on it.

We recently returned from holiday in New York and I have to say things were extremely tense at times during our trip. We had a couple of days apart as we both wanted to do different things which was fair enough. I spent part of one of the days wondering around Greenwich Village just feeling so completely lost and alone. Most of the time I enjoy my own company but there are rare occasions when I have something on my mind, being alone just makes me feel desperate.

Part of the problem is that my mum has been ill quite a lot lately too and I feel like that has been preying on my mind a bit too much. She is suffering from severe exhaustion and has been told that the recovery process is long. I worry about her so much but feel kind of helpless sometimes. Whilst I can offer her support, it is really up to her to make changes to her life. I can't do it for her.

Anyhow, I shall soldier on and plan to make sure that my blog is kept up to date.

New Year, New Year!

It occurred to me today that I haven't posted anything new on my blog for ages. Unfortunately, after so looking forward to the festive season I was struck down with terrible flu on December 21st and that completely floored me.

I was so disappointed to be ill after having recovered so successfully from having my gall bladder removed in November but am pleased to report it has nearly gone.

Anyway, a funny thing happened on New Year's eve which has made me think that things are looking up for 2009. I went to the chemist to get Mr B's prescription and on my way out noticed a horse shoe lying on the ground pointing in my direction. I didn't pick it up because it was very rusty and had nails poking out of it but I thought that this was a rather strange, and I hope, good omen. There was no reason for a horse shoe to be lying down there as it is in the middle of town with no horses or stables anywhere nearby. Oh well, let's hope I will be lucky.

I have been thinking about the good things that have happened to me in 2008 and about the things I have to be thankful for and also about the things I would like to achieve in 2009.

Good things from 2008

1. Successfully having my gall bladder removed.
2. Losing 19lbs.
3. Beginning voluntary work.
4. Liking myself more and becoming more confident.

Things I would like to achieve in 2009

Weight Loss
Hmmmmmm.....I am going to be realistic here and set myself an achievable goal so that I won't be disappointed. I would like to lose at least 19lbs. I think I can definitely do this if I put my mind to it.

Self Development
I think that it is important for myself to keep on learning new things and this year I would like to finish my PDA in Adult Literacies Learning and begin some sort of further education course. I intend to do the other course part-time/distance learning and I haven't quite decided what to do it in yet.

Those are the only goals I have set for myself this year and I will do my best to achieve them. Fingers crossed.