Sunday 15 February 2009

Hi Honey, I'm Home!

This is first time in ages that I felt like writing anything. I feel bad for not updating my blog in so long but I just haven't felt like it.

I have been in a strange place recently, kind of an emotional no mans' land. I have been fed up with work, fed up with myself and my relationship with Mr B. I'm not sure what I want anymore. I have felt like a bored, desperate housewife. The trouble is, I can't really do anything about it because either I'm not really sure what it is that I want.

My weight loss has come grinding to a halt lately. I am just not in the right frame of mind to deprive myself of chocolate or even cut back on it.

We recently returned from holiday in New York and I have to say things were extremely tense at times during our trip. We had a couple of days apart as we both wanted to do different things which was fair enough. I spent part of one of the days wondering around Greenwich Village just feeling so completely lost and alone. Most of the time I enjoy my own company but there are rare occasions when I have something on my mind, being alone just makes me feel desperate.

Part of the problem is that my mum has been ill quite a lot lately too and I feel like that has been preying on my mind a bit too much. She is suffering from severe exhaustion and has been told that the recovery process is long. I worry about her so much but feel kind of helpless sometimes. Whilst I can offer her support, it is really up to her to make changes to her life. I can't do it for her.

Anyhow, I shall soldier on and plan to make sure that my blog is kept up to date.